If you ask yourself what you are, or investigate into your true identity, how do you talk to yourself about it?
Here's how four of the people in a self-inquiry retreat began their responses to four five-minute writing exercises:
Responses to "I am
." began with:
|
Responses to "I am not
." began with:
|
A: I am tired
.
B: I am scared
.
C: I am dot dot dot dot
D: I am waiting
.
|
A: I am not immune
.
B: I am not excited
.
C: What am I?
D: I am not God
.
|
Responses to "I love
." began with:
|
Responses to "I hate
." began with:
|
A: I love the possibility
.
B: I love beauty
.
C: [no response]
D: I love this person
.
|
A: I hate getting distracted
.
B: I hate feeling confused
.
C: [blank]
D: I hate this life
.
|
Do you head yourself off from the corral-of-looking with an "I don't know" reaction? Of course you don't know; otherwise, there'd be no need for investigation. But if that's a stopping point for you, you've followed a path of the tired, the hopeless, the paranoid, or some other sense that the threat of looking would overwhelm you. But how could that be the case? What were you afraid you might see, and why would that threat shut down your investigation?
Are you an adjective ("I am tired," "I am scared," etc.) or a verbal gerund ("I am waiting")? Verbs and their relatives describe action or movement; adjectives describe features or attributes.
I am rolling (verb form)
I am round (adjective)
What am I?
A rolling stone :-)
Are you afraid to label the subject of your investigation?
Are you a body?
What is this I-amness?
Look around
everyone you see is going to die.
You were what you are
Before you were born
Before you became self-conscious
What you are doesn't depend on
Consciousness
Life
All spiritual work is aimed at consciously knowing what you really are
The closest clue you have is your I-amness sense
What you are "knows" (i.e., experiences) that
You are not that sense of self; you are that which experiences it
Your focus needs to be turned from what you believe yourself to be
(A body-mind; a person)
In order to investigate your I-amness
When what experiences I-amness has explored I-amness sufficiently
You/it will be liberated from the suffering inherent in "being" a person
Graphic above is from A Is for Angry: An Animal and Adjective Alphabet by Sandra Boynton.
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