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Magnetoresistance & the Search for Self
The incentive to know the self arises when our "commerce with the world" (to use a phase of Martin Seligman's[1]) isn't going too well. We start off by trying to change others when we aren't getting what we want and when that fails, we may start to look toward ourself. We may try altering our appearance and, when that doesn't work, we may go after our personality trying to learn how to project a more attractive or less irritating image in order to satisfy our desires.
Eventually life teaches us, if we're paying attention, that the world cannot provide the satisfaction we seek. In addition to not getting what we want, or to satisfactions not lasting, we are subject to all sorts of vulnerabilities physical and emotional including sickness, embarrassment, rejection, failure and, ultimately, death. That realization is bound to bring an experience, or a series of experiences, of hopelessness. If we're fortunate, something awakens our intuition to the recognition that there's a new possibility to explore, and it's within.
Within is an Alice-in-Wonderland[2] kind of dimension that can only be explored inversely by backing away from what we experience in order to get a better view. We see that personality, as the word derivation points out, describes the characteristics of a mask and tells us nothing about what's behind the mask. All our beliefs about "I am a person who
." are beliefs about a mask.
When we see past faulty beliefs in personality as what we are, we're still left with a belief in individuality, in being a separate being who's tremendously vulnerable. The journey to knowing the self, which begins with the push of dissatisfaction from not getting what we want, steps up in seriousness with the admission that the individual's vulnerabilities rest on a fear of annihilation. What follows is the universal reaction of trying to find something that will make that vulnerable individual self invulnerable.
The problem in the final phase of the search for Self is that the ego-self can't detach itself from itself. The belief in individuality can't unimagine itself. The final transition to knowing the self requires a discontinuity from the type of knowing that we're familiar with to a knowing by identity, of recognizing our "oneness with." We've unknowingly come closer and closer to the recognition of our true identity as we've seen through the illusion of our faulty self-beliefs and, in the final hour, the magnetic pull at the center of our being overcomes the remaining resistance.
[1]
As quoted by Charles Barber in Comfortably Numb: How Psychiatry is
Medicating a Nation: "
Negative emotions contain 'messages about how
our commerce with the world is going.'" Seligman is a psych professor at
the U. of Pennsylvania. His books include Learned Optimism and Authentic
Happiness. [2] See www.ebbemunk.dk/alice/alice1.html
for the complete book of Adventures of Alice in Wonderland. |
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